• me: FedEx made up for it. they sent a really nice, hot dude
  • lesbina: hahahaha
  • me: he brought it upstairs for me and put it in the living room
  • lesbina: damn look at you, if he was ugly you'd still be pissed
  • me: YUP!
  • me: he came in to scan it cause he forgot to before he brought it upstairs and then he started talking about having to bring a fireplace up like 100 stairs cause this guy's house was on the side of a hill and it was just all stairs. And I'm thinking… "huh… this is like how a porno starts, right?"
  • lesbina: haha and then you made a move for his pants
  • me: "your vest looks uncomfortable… let me take that for you"
  • me: "would you like a glass of water… that was a lot of work you just did… you must be thirsty"
  • me: "and tired! you can lay down in my bed if you'd like"
  • me: "oh, but your clothes are all dirty and sweaty, you need to take them off first"
  • me: damn… why don't I think of these things in the moment!!!!!!!